Sad, Beautiful, Tragic
by lesbianpeterpan
Summary: You've got your demons, and darling, they all look like me. / In which Beck and Jade didn't get back together after The Worst Couple. Beck/Jade, Beck/OC
1. Prologue

472 days.

It's been 472 days since graduation, 472 days since they last saw each other.

He's healing. It's a slow process, but at least it's happening.

It's easier now that he doesn't see have to see her every day. Now that he doesn't have to sit across from her at lunch and pretend he doesn't still love her, pretend he doesn't wish every single moment of every single day that she was still his.

472 days, and he's already begun to forget the shocking blue-ness of those ice blue eyes, the perfect shape of those soft, pink lips, the way her body felt pressed up against his, like they were two pieces of a puzzle, fitting perfectly together.

Okay. Maybe he hasn't forgotten her entirely.

* * *

The date is February 11th.

2/11. She traces the number into her thigh with the tip of her finger. It's been exactly two years since they broke up.

She's a sophomore at NYCDA. All the way across the country from her friends, her asshole parents, and from him. She has a few people in her classes who she talks to, and a few guys who occasionally hit on her, but on the whole, she's pretty much a loner.

Two years since they broke up, and she's finally beginning to understand why he let her go.

You can only push someone away so many times before they stop bothering to come back.


	2. Lindsay

She has blonde hair and brown eyes and tan skin and she's absolutely nothing like Jade.

She works at a coffee shop on campus at CalArts, and her name is Lindsay. Beck comes by every day to flirt with her. He learns she's a graphic design major and she has a cat named Ceres and in high school she used to have trichotillomania, which Beck keeps forgetting to google.

For the first time since Jade, Beck can actually see himself ending up with someone.

"You know what?" Beck says to her one day. "Let's hang out tonight. I'll buy you dinner."

She shakes her head, gives him a small, sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry Beck. You're a sweet guy, and I like you, but I'm really not looking for any kind of relationship right now."

He nods, walks away feeling defeated. But that night she shows up at his dorm room and gives him the best sex he's had in years, and when it's over, when she's lying naked on his bed sheets, she whispers, "I guess you should probably buy me dinner now."

Jade who?


	3. One Night Stands

Jade's not really into any kind of social events at all, but some girl named Cassidy in one of her classes is telling her about this "epic party" tonight, and she's done all her homework for the week, and she should really try to not be such a loser and get "the college experience" so she figures, why not?

She drinks a shit ton of beer and meets some random douchebag who likes her "nice, round titties" and she has sex with someone other than Beck for the first time in her life. It's worse than anything she ever had with him, including their painfully awkward first time, but that doesn't stop her from sleeping with another gross pervert the weekend after that and another the weekend after that.

It becomes routine for her. During the week, she works diligently and pays attention in her classes, and on the weekend she get shit faced and has sex with strangers.

It makes her temporarily forget that she has virtually nothing meaningful in her life.


	4. Reunion

He hasn't seen her in ten years, and now he's staring at her from across the room, and she looks as beautiful as ever, and he's trying to fight the urge to go talk to her because he's afraid of what might happen if he does.

But she looks up at him, their eyes meet, and he knows he couldn't escape her now if he wanted to.

She walks over to him. "Hey."

"Jade!" He acts surprised to see her, even though they'd made eye contact just five seconds prior. "You look... wow. You look great."

She smirks. "Can't say the same for you. Ten years and you still haven't cut that mane of yours, huh?"

He chuckles. "It's not that long. You know, I really didn't expect to see you at this thing."

"Yeah, well, I had nothing better to do." She makes it sound so nonchalant, like sure, she just flew across the country for a high school reunion because she "had nothing better to do." "Anyway, I hear you got married. My belated congratulations."

"Yeah." He runs a hand through his hair. "She's not here with me. She's sick."

"Sucks. What's she like?"

"She's pretty great." In all honesty, things with him and Lindsey hadn't been going so well lately. They fought more than they used to. And Lindsey had started pulling out her hair again.

"Cool." Jade nodded. "Well, I'll see you around."

And he did see her again, later that night in the backseat of his car, steaming up the windows, just like in high school.

It's exactly what he was afraid of.


	5. Positive

"No, no, no, shit, no."

Despite the fact that her period is three weeks late, she's had unprotected sex with about half a dozen guys in the last month or so, and this is the fourth test that's come up positive, Jade absolutely refuses to believe she's pregnant.

After a solid ten minutes of freaking out, she finally composes herself long enough to do what she always does in stressful situations such as this: she makes a list.

Making lists has always calmed Jade down. It's how she came up for the ideas for her "Things Jade Hates" videos back in high school.

So she sits down and starts writing down the names (and contact information, if she has it) of every one night stand she's had in the last two months when it hits her.

Beck. The had sex at the reunion a month ago, and now she could very well be carrying his child.

She shakes her head. It doesn't matter if she is. He's married and has a life now, and she can't mess that up for him.

She crumples up the list and throws it in the trash. She can screw up her own life all she wants, but she's not gonna let herself screw up his.


	6. Kids

It's the biggest fight of their marriage.

"Linds, can we at the very least talk about this?"

"No. I told you Beck, I'm not discussing this with you!"

"Look, before we got married, you said—"

"I know, I know!" She sinks into a chair, puts her head in her hands. "I know I said I would be open to the idea of having kids later on, but I fucking lied, okay? I only said it because I was afraid you wouldn't marry me if I told you I didn't want a family."

He opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again. "Lindsay, I'm not—ugh! I don't even know how I'm supposed to react to this!"

"Look, part of me knew before we got married that I would never want kids, but… I just kind of thought that _maybe_ I would change my mind. I don't know. I just know that when there was a chance I might actually have a child, I knew for sure I didn't want one."

That catches Beck off guard. "What do you mean?"

Lindsay takes in a shaky breath. "Look, don't get mad, okay? I knew I was going to have to tell you eventually. But when you went to that high school reunion, what was it, five, six years ago, you remember that? I couldn't come because I was sick."

"Yeah."

"Well, that—it wasn't completely true. I mean, it kinda was, but… I was pregnant." She pauses. "I got an abortion while you were out of town." She tugs on her hair and looks up at him. "Okay. You're mad. But Beck—"

"I'm not mad!" he snaps back. "But since we're being honest, I had sex with my ex-girlfriend at that reunion. So I guess we both have secrets from that night."


	7. Mother

"Jamie, get back here!" She shouts at her little boy as he runs back in the kitchen. "Go finish getting dressed, you can't go to school without pants on!"

"Sure I can!" He says, sticking his tongue out at her. He's standing on the kitchen counter, trying to reach a box of Lucky Charms on the top shelf.

She snatches the cereal box away. "I already made you breakfast, you don't need any more! Now go. Get. Dressed. Don't make me ask again!"

She finally gets him dressed and in the car, with him throwing a fit the whole time. When they stop at a red light, Jamie crosses his arms and mutters, "Bitch."

Jade gasps, and turns around to look at her five-year-old. "What did you just call me? Don't ever let me hear you say that again, young man!"

"You say it!"

"I'm the grown up." She knows that if she were a kid, she would think it was a lame excuse, but she doesn't know what else to say, and she doesn't want him getting sent home on the first day of kindergarten for repeating something she said.

They reach the school, and he all but flies out of the car without even bothering to say goodbye. It's a stark contrast from all the other kindergartners crying and clinging to their parents' legs. She's not ignorant enough to think its just because he's a bad kid, nor does she believe she's just a bad mother either. It's a little of both.


End file.
